My On-Again, Off-Again Relationship with Motherhood and Cancer

Okay, so you clicked on the title because I’m pretty sure that sounded weird or interesting, who knows. Anyway, my name is Cae’ly Romero, and I am a working mother of two who has beaten the “Big C” twice: Thyroid Cancer after I had my oldest and Breast Cancer while I was pregnant with my youngest, all within a two-year time frame. See moms; you can do it all. In my blog post, I plan to cover:

• The BRCA2 gene and what it means to be a carrier.

• My treatments for both Thyroid and Breast Cancer.

• All of the resources and organizations that helped me along the way.

• My journey through motherhood while battling “el cancer.”

• And what happens after.

So what is the BRCA2 Gene? Before my mid-20s, I had only heard of the BRCA gene once, and that was when a certain actress decided to have a prophylactic mastectomy. At the time, I did not understand why someone healthy would want to cut her boobs off; now, I want to give her a high-five. At the end of the day, the BRCA2 gene is simply a genetic mutation that exponentially increases the risk of breast, ovarian/prostate, and pancreatic Cancer in the carrier. As this blog progresses, we plan to provide in-depth information that we have learned about the BRCA2 genes. However, we are not doctors and are not here to give medical advice, just to share our experiences. If you would like to learn more about the BRCA genes, then you can go to beBRCAware.com to further your research. Here is the link: https://www.bebrcaware.com/what-is-brca/brca-mutations.html?source=LYN_C_C_45&umedium=CPC&uadpub=Bing&ucampaign=BreastCancerBRCA&ucreative=BRCAInBreastCancer-BMM&uplace=brca2breastcancer&cmpid=1 What treatments did the Doctors use (Thyroid and Breast Cancer)?

Let me first clarify; I did not have the two cancers at the same time. With that being said, I was first diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer in November 2014. Of all the Cancers to have, this one is the easiest to treat. The process took about two to three months tops. First, we had surgery to remove the Thyroid; then I popped a pill that made me radioactive for about a week, then that was it, done. Breast Cancer was a bit more of a challenge; it required two different types of chemotherapy and multiple surgeries to chop me up then put me back together. I will go into more detail on my journey as this blog grows, but for now, I am Cancer free.

What organizations and resources are available for fighters?

You would be surprised that while battling this illness, you are not alone. Between my community and a plethora of organizations, I had a lot of help getting through everything. No one talks about the financial struggles of being a Cancer patient, and as a young mother with a toddler and a baby on the way, we took a massive financial hit when I had to stop working. Let me tell you guys, treatment and surgeries are not cheap. Since I was the pioneer into the cancer world for my BRCA2 family, I did not have the foresight to get Cancer Insurance ahead of time, I mean, I was still young and suffering the disillusion of invincibility. Learn from my mistake, get the insurance. My parents were smart and had gotten cancer insurance on my four other siblings and me years ago, so I was able to benefit from that for half of my journey. Still, the coverage only stayed with the “child” of the policyholder until the age of 26, which I was on the cusp of during my second diagnosis. As far as organizations go, there were two that became part of my world, and I appreciate to this day: The American Cancer Society and MD Anderson Cancer Center. They helped where they could to ease the financial burden that this journey cost me. Until my next post, check them out here: https://www.cancer.org/treatment.html and https://www.mdanderson.org/?invsrc=brandleadership&cmpid=BRD_ORG_mdanderson_B_SE&k_clickid=c121aaf0-9d95-448f-8c50-ddfcffe7a6dd&c

How did Cancer affect your pregnancy and children?

I fought hard for these two wonderful babies. I’m not going to lie; I resent being sick during the most critical times for me as a mother. As a new mother, back in 2014, I did my research and chose to breastfeed my daughter and supplement with formula when needed; but I was dedicated to this breastfeeding journey. I got the breast pump and all the storage baggies. I would only be able to pump once a day at work because I am a teacher. This ambitious dream came to a screeching halt when I was told I had to stop because I had to have surgery and take a pill that would make my entire body poison to others for a week. So I took my loss, had the surgery, took medicine, and lived in complete isolation for a week in my guest bedroom while binging everything on Netflix. After everything, I decided to focus on the beautiful eight-month-old little girl that I would be able to live and watch her grow. Then, about six months later, we decided it was time for another child and began working on adding another little one to the family. It came as quite a shock when I found a lump in my left breast during this time, so my husband and I chose to put a hold on the baby-making process and see my Doctor who removed my Thyroid. We did multiple ultrasounds on my breast, and it never showed up; luckily, my Dr. did not trust the ultrasound and did a biopsy anyway. The next night, two pink lines appeared on my at-home test, and the following morning the Dr. gave me the bad news. We had to make a lot of decisions that would affect my treatment.

So you’ve “beaten” Cancer, you are done, right?

Just like running a marathon, you have tunnel vision; there is a goal in mind, and all you want to do is push and push until you make it to the finish line. Somewhere on the way, you became so focused on the end that all you did was eat, sleep, and breath routine. It becomes a comfort of sorts; you know exactly what will happen every day and how you will react to everything. But then, its over, you don’t have to push anymore, you stop because you passed the finish line miles ago and you are left with this sense of purposeless. You battle with guilt over this confusion because, obviously, you just beat Cancer, you get to keep your baby and live your life, but there is something in the back of your mind that won't let things go. Everyone else’s problems seem trivial, and you get angry at your friends for what they complain about because you can no longer relate, then you get mad at yourself over being angry for something so stupid. You feel a little less human because of everything and become lost. This is the crossroads that I learned many survivors come to. Believe it or not, this is where most of my emotional stress and soul-searching happened throughout the entire process. You make a lot of choices at this time; you might even have some dark thoughts. I’m here to tell you that this is all normal, and it is more than okay to ask for help. Tell your Doctor of how you feel, and they will recommend some great therapists or even medication if you need it. Find what works for you to help you through this because you are a butterfly that just emerged from the cocoon of trauma and illness, and this is the time to decide what kind of butterfly you will be. The best part is, you do not have to do that alone. I got to nurse him for three months before I had to give up and remove the other breast.

In the end, our stories are always going to be different. We are going to fight things our way and experience everything unique to our situation. What you must remember is that you came to this site to learn something about yourself and feel a connection to others. Every day we are learning more and more about this gene and how we can use that knowledge to make some hard decisions. Just know that we are here to share our stories to help you understand what this gene means to us, and hopefully, you can learn from our experiences to benefit your own. Good luck with your journey, and remember that you are not alone.